


Cold Light

by orphan_account



Category: Merlin (TV), Merlin - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Greek Mythology, Apollo!Arthur, Dark!Arthur, Forced Pregnancy, God!Arthur, Hurt Merlin, Kidnapping, Let's call it that, M/M, Magical Pregnancy, Mpreg, Near Death Experiences, Poor Merlin, Pregnant Merlin, Rape/Non-con Elements, Some minor violence, Stockholm Syndrome, Teen Pregnancy, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-16 18:48:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5836708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Apollo (Arthur) has been longing for a companion but he's not very good at expressing feelings and uses force. He falls in love with Merlin, a village boy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cold Light

**Author's Note:**

> This one is pretty dark. I got the idea when I saw a documentary of Apollo.

For so long Apollo has been longing for his other half. He wanted someone to exchange love and affection. But he wasn't good at those types of things. That didn't stop him from trying, even if he ended up failing miserably or hurting someone. He had multiple lovers that didn't last long. The maximum time Apollo gave his lovers was one night. He never loved any of them. They never satisfied him.

A bored Apollo was a frustrated Apollo. He thought it rational to pick up any girl or boy he saw. And one day he saw what he believed was his one and true love. It was a boy, pale-skinned, long-limbed, raven-haired and so _lovely_. He had felt like his eyes had been opened. Merlin, the boy he loved, was a beautiful and exotic flower blooming among common daisies. Arthur longed for the boy who was a tad too young to bed, being twelve-years-old. He would have to wait but it wouldn't be too long for him since he was a god. He watched his little bird grow.

Time passed. Merlin was now fifteen-years-old. He was still a little too young for Apollo's usual taste but that didn't matter. He had hair on his armpits and that was enough. He took the form of an eighteen-year-old blonde young man. Apollo descended upon Earth and planted himself in a little village called Ealdor.

* * *

 

Merlin panted heavily as he ran down a hill. He did his best to not lose his balance and avoided the stones and holes in his way. Merlin couldn't help but glance over his shoulder to see if he was being gained on and as presumed, he still was. The big, shaggy and gray-furred figures were still hungrily following after him. Merlin felt a thrill of horror. By being distracted, he twisted his ankle and slid down the hill. The raven-haired boy landed on the ground on his stomach and with a pained groan. His canine companions were now nearing him. They landed on their paws and then closed in on the boy. Their teeth were bared and they snarled with their haunches raised, daring Merlin to make a move.

Merlin raised himself on his arms and tried to crawl away. As soon as he moved, a wolf barked and latched onto his ankle. Merlin screamed and stopped moving. Tears and dizziness were blurring his vision. Merlin began to sob. His life was going to end here. He was going to be mauled by wolves.

And then there was a brief, blinding flash. Merlin gasped and heard the wolves whimper. Slowly, he turned his head. He saw a young man twisting a wolf's head in his hands, making a cracking sound. The young man threw away the wolf's carcass as if it weighed nothing. Merlin gasped again. What kind of man could do such a thing? Was he a demon? The young man walked his way and bent down on his knees, giving Merlin a look of pure worry and concern . “Are you alright?” he asked the boy. Merlin shook his head. “Where are you hurt?” the young man asked. Merlin's eyes darted towards his feet. The young man followed his gaze. He noticed the blood seeping out of his ankle. Gently, the young man ran his fingertips over his wound, making Merlin whimper. The young man frowned at the wound and then lowered his head. Merlin watched him with wide eyes.

“W-what are you doing!?” he demanded. Was he a vampire or some other blood-sucking creature? He tried to move away but the young man gripped his uninjured ankle and held him in place firmly. The young man lifted his intense eyes to meet Merlin's before lowering his lips to kiss the wound. Merlin cried out and his ankle jerked in surprise. He expected the sting of pain but it never came. Merlin opened his eyes and peered down at the young man. The blonde was staring at him with an expression he could only call hopeful. Merlin moved his injured ankle only to find out that the pain was gone. He scrambled to sit up, startling the young man, and inspected his ankle. He was fully healed and there was no scar left behind.

“What happened? Have I been blessed? Did the gods take mercy on me and heal me miraculously?” Merlin exclaimed, astonished. The young man stared at him. And kept staring. Merlin was starting to feel very uncomfortable from the silence and the staring.  
“I healed you.” the young man said at last. Merlin blinked. Did he hear him right?  
“You did? But...how? You are a man!” Merlin said. “Or are you?” he later added. “Are you an angel?” he asked him. He certainly looked like one but the blonde man shook his head.  
“No, I am Arthur.” he said. “And you are...?”  
“Merlin. Thank you, Arthur, for saving me and healing me. How can I ever repay you?” he asked with a grateful smile.  
“Well, there's only one thing I really want from you, Merlin.” said Arthur. Merlin nodded eagerly.  
“Anything!” he said. Arthur smiled back, but it looked unsettling on his handsome face.  
“You must marry me and become mine.”

….

The words were uttered so causally, Merlin thought he misheard him. “I'm sorry, what?” he said. Arthur's expression hadn't changed.  
“I said, you must marry me and—”  
“No, no, I heard you the first time...” Merlin interrupted. Now, Arthur felt irritated.  
“Then why did you act as if you didn't hear me? Are you daft?” he asked. Merlin's mouth flapped open.  
“No, I'm not daft! And I didn't 'act' I'm just...confused. W-what do you mean by 'marry me'?” he said. Arthur rolled his eyes.  
“Well, what else could I mean?” he sighed. Was Merlin always this...dumb? Well, he supposed there had to be some type of flaw in his beloved.  
“See, that's the problem. How...how can you ask me to marry _you_?”

Arthur's expression instantly turned cold. “What?” he asked harshly. “Am I not good enough for you?” he said, grabbing a hold on Merlin's wrist. Merlin looked confused. “W-what? No, it's not that. I barely know you, is all! I just met you today! And you're a man!” He tried to break free but Arthur's grip tightened. He tried again and was met with the same result. His grip was like iron. “Let go of me!” Merlin demanded. But instead, Arthur made Merlin come closer to him. The force he used almost sent Merlin to his knees but the boy managed to barely catch himself.  
“You are a mere mortal. You can't say no to me!” Arthur shouted angrily, close to Merlin's face. Merlin was frightened of him. He thought Arthur was insane, which wasn't actually far from the truth, Arthur was angry that his illusions had been shattered like glass. He always believed Merlin would throw himself at him immediately and then fall in love with him but that was not the case.

“You're mad!” Merlin shouted back, tears stinging his eyes. Arthur growled. His eyes started to glow. Merlin gasped--Arthur was a demon after all! Arthur grabbed him by the arms and forced his lips against Merlin's. The boy's tears wet his pale cheeks. His screams were muffled by Arthur's mouth. The blonde man was leaning far too much into Merlin and they ended up falling on the ground. Arthur quickly gripped Merlin's wrists to the sides of his head and pinned them there. “Since you're being an ungrateful whelp, I will take you out of wedlock and put a son in your belly and you will be disgraced.”  
“What the hell are you talking about!? I'm a man, you fucking prat!” There was no doubt about it—Arthur was crazy.

Arthur curled his lips in a smirk. “Yes, I can see that.” he said. He had a dangerous look on his face, one that was full of secrets and unholy intentions. “However, that won't stop me.”

About an hour later, his best friend Will found Merlin with his pants wrapped around one of his ankles and sobbing on the grassy ground with blood staining his thighs.

 

* * *

 

Merlin suffered gravely from his rape. His innocence was stolen away by a man no one has ever heard of and he was left to rot by that man. Will had screamed and cried and carried him back to Ealdor. From there, it was all a blur. Hunith, his mother, never stopped crying—day and night. Her beautiful son was broken. He wouldn't eat and couldn't sleep without reliving his rape. But that was only the beginning. Two weeks into a new month, Merlin started vomiting what little he ate. He had to stay in bed because if he got up he would swoon from dizziness and fall on his head. The people of Ealdor avoided Merlin, fearing he was either cursed or was suffering from a contagious sickness. But it wasn't a sickness of any sort that was ailing Merlin. It was a child. It wasn't obvious until Merlin's pale belly started to round and became a solid little dome.

Merlin put two and two together. He was pregnant. He knew who the father was. It was Arthur, of course, the demon who took him against his will. Hunith knew too, as well as Will. But no one else knew who impregnated Merlin nor that he was pregnant to begin with. Merlin never got out of his mother's little hut. At first, he hated the child. He hated the solid evidence growing inside him. He felt disgusting and unclean. But Hunith talked to him about the wonders of motherhood and the little pitter-patter of feet. Merlin realized that even if the father was a monster, the child was innocent. There was a small moment of peace.

But then the wild men came to Ealdor to raid. One saw Merlin and the child growing in him. Apollo decided that in that moment he would make a second visit to Ealdor. He would not have his child or his child mother's harmed by some ruffians. Apollo took his bow and arrow and slaughtered all the men from his place in Olympus. No one ever raided Ealdor again. It had Apollo's full protection because of a boy carrying his bastard

Months passed. Merlin's belly was heavy with a god's unborn babe. He could barely move about anymore with his bulging stomach hanging off of his frail-looking frame. He looked ready to burst. Hunith fretted and never left his side, afraid her ever-clumsy son would trip or do some sort of little mishap that would end up losing the baby. Will took the role of the man (since Merlin's manliness was all but nonexistent at this point) and took care of Merlin and hunted for food.

When Hunith wasn't fretting, she sat on her rocking chair and knitted tiny clothing for the baby—little bibs, little caps, little socks, little tunics, nappies and even little breeches. No dresses. Merlin knew the gender of the babe: a boy. He wasn't sure how he knew but he just did. Will took out the old crib while Hunith took out Merlin's old blankets and toys—two stuffed toys and a carved wooden dragon Balinor left for Merlin. The three—Merlin, Hunith and Will were all preparing for the baby's arrival.

But on the day of the arrival, the villagers would hear Merlin's cries and a baby wailing. And if that wasn't enough oddness, they would notice Merlin and a little child—possibly blonde-haired—but no mother. Something had to be done. Merlin wept when Hunith told him of the problem. He thought that was the end of the line for him and his baby. The villagers would discover his abnormal state and stone him. Will took him in his arms and soothed him, holding him against his chest. “Merlin, I would never let anything happen to you. We have a plan. No one is going to kill your baby. You'll be fine.” he said. Merlin relaxed and then felt a little woozy. Hunith caught his elbow and led him to bed.  
“There, there, Merlin. Rest assured. You're safe.”

* * *

 

Apollo watched the scene of another man (Will?) embrace his little bird. He narrowed his eyes at the other boy, slightly older than Merlin by a few years. He never thought he would be jealous of a _human_. Up until now, Apollo had no need to be jealous. Suddenly, he sympathized with Hera. “Well, the lion is finally out of his den.” said a silky voice. Apollo didn't stop his sulking. His twin sister, Artemis strode next to him with her arms crossed and watched the Earth with him. “Oh, is that your beloved? I know him. Yes, he was such a pure boy, that one. Very admirable. For a boy, anyways.” said Artemis. “But of course, you just had to ruin him, didn't you?” Artemis scoffed. “Tsk, tsk tsk, _you men_. You even rape your own kind! No morals whatsoever.” Apollo rolled his eyes.  
“Don't you have something to do like hunt down innocent young men who dare to eye up a girl?” he said. Artemis laughed a rich and very womanly laugh.

“Oh, Apollo. You know me too well.” Before she left, she eyed the brown-haired boy hugging Merlin. “You know, if your _little dove_ was a woman, I would have been furious. No doubt that rat has ulterior motives.” she said, then marched away. Apollo growled. He wasn't happy with another man being so close to Merlin. He wished to smite him with one of his arrows but the young man kept his Merlin from starving. Apollo glared down at Will one more time then went turned away.

* * *

 

The big day came. It happened in the middle of chores. Merlin was sweeping the floors of the newly bought little cottage that was safely hidden from the eyes of prying villagers. He felt a sharp pain on his stomach. It was so great, he couldn't take it. He doubled over and fell on his knees. Then he felt liquid sliding down his legs and wetting his breeches. He started to cry out, he didn't even realize Hunith and Will were at his side, lifting him up and leading him to the bed.

It was just the three of them. That was all the help. Merlin's own willingness, Hunith's bare hands and Will's support. It was enough. Merlin layed back against the pillows. He was breathing too quickly and his stomach was moving up and down with each of his breaths. The baby shifted in his stomach, his stomach throbbed, making Merlin cry out. “It hurts...it hurts...” he wheezed. His belly was heaving up and down with quick little movements. Will placed a hand on the dome and began to rub gently.  
“You can do this, Merlin. You're strong. The strongest man I've ever known.” Will said encouragingly. Merlin sobbed and stared at his friend with watery eyes.  
“R-really?” he said in a trembling tone. Will smiled lovingly.  
“Yes. Really.”

There wasn't anything he could do but endure the pain until Merlin's mother got a look that told him things were going to get more nerve-wrecking. At Hunith's command, Merlin started to push. His screams started to reverabate inside the cottage and even out in the forest. Anyone walking a miles by would of heard Merlin screaming of agony from childbirth.

Merlin suffered gravely from the pain and the effort it took him. He forgot that his mother and Will were there with him, he forgot the baby. All he knows is pain. Unbearable pain. He felt like his choking, like he couldn't breathe because there was a great weight in his chest and his stomach was churning with so much pain. He could hear his mother but he couldn't understand her. She sounded scared. Merlin's vision was blurring. _It hurt. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt_. He tried to suck in air but failed. He choked instead. He gripped at the bed sheets and writhed while making little choking noises. His body gave little spasms and jerks. He could vaguely hear screaming, but it felt like he was under water and the screaming was muffled.

_It hurts._

_I'm tired._

_I want to let go._

Merlin's eyes felt too heavy. They started slipping close. The darkness was embracing him so sweetly, he allowed himself to be taken.

But then a blinding flash scared the darkness away. A handsome illuminated face hovered over his. Merlin expected the light to blind him and make his tired eyes ache, but it didn't. The light coming from the man—a very familiar blonde man at that—was warm and made him want to cuddle up into the warmth. The man was aloof and beautiful. He stroked Merlin's cheekbone very lightly, as if afraid Merlin would break from the slightest touch.

“Not today, my love.” said the man. Merlin blinked at him tiredly. “I grant you a blessing from Apollo.” Just as Merlin was beginning to recognize the man, he leaned down and kissed him on the lips. “Take care of our son.” Apollo whispered and then vanished with the light.

Merlin woke up gasping.

 

Some hours later, the robust cries of an infant shook the cottage. Merlin lay back, panting softly with his dark curls wet, holding a baby boy with a full head of white-blonde hair. The baby was a strong little thing. He had his little face in a frown and clutched at Merlin's fingers in a firm grip. He demands a feeding and tugged at Merlin's loose tunic. Merlin chuckled and undid the lacings of his tunic, allowing it to fall down his shoulders. The babe latched on a little too harshly and began to suckle on Merlin's teat loudly. Merlin stared down at the baby in adoration. His little son was so perfect. Merlin couldn't get enough of him as he watched him feed and grumble occasionally when Will tried to pet his head, making Merlin giggle. Merlin named his son Pedr.

Moments later after the feeding and birth, Will informed Merlin that for a moment, he was on the verge of death. The birth was too unnatural since he was a man and his body was damaged from it. There was too much blood. But then, there was a light and when it faded Merlin was healed. He was still sore from the birth but at least he wasn't dead.

For awhile, Merlin believed everything was perfect. He lived in his little cottage, with his mother, the man he loved and his young son. The four of them were a perfect little family in which Pedr was coddled relentlessly. But when Pedr turned five months old, he started to show signs of being a little out of the ordinary. Pedr started making little orbs of light and made them move to his will. This caught everyone in surprise. A baby with the ability of magic! Hunith and Will looked at Merlin for answers, but truth be told, Merlin wasn't so sure himself. The one who got him impregnated with Pedr must have been some sort of other-worldly being. Was he an angel? No, that was impossible. What angel raped an innocent boy? Was he a demon? That could have been a possibility, but what demon's child could conjure up a light so pure and not cower from it? Surely, if the father was a demon, then the child would be a demon as well?

What was Pedr? Why did he have strange abilities?

Pedr was quickly growing into a beautiful one-year-old with hair of the most vibrant gold. Despite his abilities, no one stopped loving him. Especially not Merlin. But it was only a matter of time for Pedr's father to pay him a visit.

One day Merlin and Pedr were out in a glade. Merlin was watching the little boy toddle along and pick flowers and clutch them in his tiny fists. He was planning on giving them to his mama. Then he saw a man. It wasn't someone he knew. He froze when he spotted him and then ran back to his mama when the man started walking towards him. Merlin caught him and raised him. Pedr whimpered and buried his face into his mama's neck. Merlin saw him.

It was Arthur.

Merlin felt his breath stutter to a stop. “You...” he said in a very weak voice. “S-stay away from us.” he said. Arthur advanced on him stealthily and took him in his arms.  
“I've missed you, my love.” Arthur said. He breathed Merlin's scent deeply. “And my son.” Arthur's gaze dropped to the little boy doing all he could to avoid his father. “He's perfect. Just like you.” he said, sweetly kissing Merlin's temple.  
“Why are you here? Please...just go.” Merlin said, giving a little helpless sob.  
“I've come to see you and our son. So far you're both doing well.” He nuzzled Merlin's head. “I decided I want you to be at my side permanently. I wish you to become my consort and come with me to Olympus.” Merlin felt chills wrecking his spine.  
“No! No! I don't want to!” he screamed. Arthur smiled down at him.  
“I'm not asking you. You will be coming with me.” he said. Merlin began to cry.  
“But what of my mother? My son? Will?”  
“Our son will be coming with us. But as for those two, well, I could care less.” Arthur shrugged. “Oh, it will be so perfect, Merlin. We will become married and you will be my wife. You'll have ever-lasting beauty and our son will grow into a fine warrior, just like his father.”

Merlin started to scream and cry as Arthur dragged him effortlessly towards the staircase of Olympus.

* * *

 

When Merlin first placed a foot in Olympus, he was so overwhelmed he fainted. When he woke up, he was on top of a bare Arthur. Then Merlin realized he was naked too. Arthur was stroking Merlin's bare shoulder. He loomed over him and began to kiss Merlin's neck. “My beauty. My love. This is our first step to happiness. You're now immortal. Our wedding is tomorrow. Aren't you happy?” Merlin was numb to the world. He didn't answer. Arthur started to get frustrated. “You'll understand one day.”

The wedding was a beautiful and luxurious affair. All the gods attended. Aphrodite herself prepped Merlin up. He had never looked so radiant and utterly flawless. Pedr was terrified the whole time. He clutched at Merlin's white robes and refused to answer any of his aunts and uncles. He was especially scared of Zeus, Arthur's father.

Then the wedding night. Arthur took Merlin on a majestic bed with the finest sheets. He was rough but he didn't hurt Merlin this time. Merlin's cries of reluctant pleasure were heard all over Olympus. “We should make another one, give Pedr a little brother or sister.” said Arthur after hours of love-making. Merlin really hoped that wouldn't happen.

Merlin went into a period of mourning. “I want to see my mother! I want to see Will!” he sobbed. He was curled up by the window. Arthur was behind him.  
“Hush now, dove. Forget about them. They're nothing.” But Merlin only cried some more. “How about you attend to our son instead of sniveling over nothing?” Arthur said. He helped Merlin up and guided him towards the nursery. Merlin nodded and did so obediently. He had given up long ago.

 

Merlin was reduced to a broodmare. He had a minor title—Guardian of Children. Merlin liked it well enough, meaning he could look after little ones and save them from their deaths but that also made him Arthur's personal breeding sow. Arthur took great pleasure in making him full with child. It started to become his trademark. The humans carved statues and painted pictures of him with a pregnant belly or with blonde-haired little children—Arthur's children—at his feet. Women especially took a liking to him and even some men. Legends and myths of him starting to sprout. He made appearances in books when Arthur was mentioned. By this time, Will and his mother were long-gone. He had grieved their deaths with pain and sorrow. Will never took another lover or a wife. Hunith died before he did and even yet, Will never moved on. Every day he would wait for Merlin to be back until he was old and hunched.

It took a long while for Merlin to even remotely feel something for Arthur. The blonde god had become less cruel and cold but Merlin was bitter from being taken away from his loved ones and bedding him against his will.

It took an even longer time for Merlin to feel love for Arthur. It was after Arthur came to their room from hunting the white stag that Merlin finally uttered those three words Arthur had been longing to hear.

“I love you.” Merlin said to him. Arthur stood shock-still, freezing while he skinned the white stag. He stared at Merlin, surprised.  
“What....?” said Arthur, disbelieving.  
“I said I love you. Do you still love me?” asked Merlin. Arthur didn't hesitate.  
“Of course." Arthur stood up. "I've always have.” He kissed Merlin's hair. Merlin smiled and melted into Arthur's chest, ignoring the gore splattering it.

For the first time, Merlin felt at peace.


End file.
